Comic

Weeee.

Burned out

I feel exhausted. Like I'm spending a lot of energy looking for jobs, but not in the right places. I've barely started. I've probably applied to twenty places and gotten like, three calls. I just have to keep at it, but right now, I need to unplug, if only for a bit.

Stuff!

Now seems as good a time as any to update my almost anonymous blog.

Lotso shit goin' on: By tomorrow I will have applied to at least ten different places for jobs. I say at least ten, because I also replied to several craigslistings that just wanted me to send a resume. I don't even freakin' remember all the places I've applied to: I got three calls today, and one of them was from an electrical appliance store that needed a full-timer pronto. I felt bad because 1: I had to ask her to remind me what the place was and 2: I told her I have classes that I can't really drop right now. Not that I should feel bad about that, I just don't like the idea of burning bridges, not a single one. Unless they're my friends, but we'll get to that later.

The other two interview calls were from Work for America and McDonalds who called right before my interview with the former. I actually have canvassing experience (courtesy of Clean Water Action) and that was the main reason they wanted me. The manager actually signed me up for my "observation" day, so tentatively speaking I have a job with them. It's full time, and they're looking for managers. They aren't even in full fundraising mode like CWA was, so I would only have to beg for money like once a week. The idea of returning to canvassing still kind of terrifies me; in order to meet quota for CWA I had to throw in some money a couple of times, although it only ended up being the amount of one night's standard ($150). Standard. I remember when that word struck terror into every crevice of my soul, although that wasn't even as terrifying as the specter of that damned word "review."

With this gig, I wouldn't have to worry about money as much. And I could help support labor. At Mickey D's, I'd /be/ the labor. No unions there, boy. Be stuck at the bottom rung of the corporate ladder, where all the mold likes to grow. I just finished reading some blogs by my friend who got me the interview. They were not happy blogs. I described canvassing to her once and she said her job wasn't as bad as that. But this canvassing job is going to be more about talking to people, and less of the manifesting of donations. For now. Watch me go to observation and they're like "Just kidding, raise this much money or you're FIRED."

It would look better on a resume though, especially if I reach the upper echelons of field manager. I don't know if that's even the right freaking word. Anyway. That job would be way more impressive than crew at Mickey D's. Of course, if I worked at Mickey D's, they're basically ever-where, and in the more than likely event that I transfer, I can transfer my job too.

J-O-B. That's what my friend from drawing calls them. I've also started saying "totes" instead of "totally", like she says. I'll try not to do that in front of her, and maybe she won't think I'm some kinda hyuman chameleon or somethin'. Yeah.

Her and I had a good night. Her, our other friend (of sorts) from drawing, and her crush. Drag shows, man. That's the stuff of dreams, right there.

Oh, yeah, so... job that is soul crushingly corporate, but secure, or job in which I try to make shit better, and can maybe get promoted. That'll also look way better on a resume. I don't think this job would be quite like CWA. And I could wear my bowler to work. Hot shit.

Of course, I don't know for sure that McD's will hire me. My friend who referred me insists that they're desperate for bodies; my roommate, who works in fast food, says there's no way they'll hire me if I don't have food experience. I got the interview call today, scheduled it for tomorrow. WE'LL SEE HOW THAT WORKS OUT. If they don't hire me, I won't have to deliberate: canvassing it is.

I'm so glad I hung out with my friends from down the street. First of all, they're beautiful people; second, we watched Labyrinth, and Bowie and puppets are awesome; third, my friends know who's looking for bodies.

This is gonna be a long-ass entry. Sorry not-followers.

Of course, in looking for jobs, and shit, maybe even landing one, I'm going to be spending less time on art, that thing I kinda wanna spend the rest of my life with. If I went back to Dearborn, I could maybe draw for tips in front of that framing place for tips, like Deb keeps telling me. Maybe I could try it one weekend. It'd be more of an art experience than a money maker. I need so much to do more art. My mom's uber psyched about me maybe getting employment.I haven't told my dad, although I think he gets the fact that I don't really want to come home this summer, and that I kinda need to make money to live out here. I love it out here.

My quote unquote life partner doesn't even know that I wanna move out here, even though I've been pondering it since January. She'll be the last person to know. I brought her to the dorm, so she could work on a photo project. But she was... kind of abusive. She made me feel shitty and insecure, and I didn't want to put up with it. Instead of telling her off I stopped talking to her. I did finally tell her. I felt bad, because my friends from down the street and I talked about her. And we all agreed. I dunno: our lives are taking different directions. I'm trying to be more independent, and she really hasn't been. And whenever I hang out with her (not as often because, go figure, it costs me more than fifty bucks to fill my tank with gas), after I leave she'll post facebook statuses about how she hates everything. She probably feels left behind. She said she wanted to move in with me: no. Just, no.

I've really wanted to make a different life for myself, I guess because I felt suffocated, somewhat. That's why I don't want to go back home, even if I would save more money.

Oh, I'm in an art show at my school. I guess that's cool. Got into Laguna, who's offerin' me some cash. RMCAD talked about offering me money. Have yet to hear from them about that. I'm supposed to visit Ringling in April.

Augh. I've been so focused on trying to get work and out of the house that other aspects of my life have been put on the back burner. And I'm not even done looking for work.

Wow, damn. I really suck at this college thing. As of the beginning of the semester, I have had absolutely no drive to do any of my work. Except for, say, at the very last minute, like I'm doing right now.

I still have to read Descartes. Yaaaaaay...

I feel so behind on everything else, too. Like, as soon as I accomplish something, like submit applications to schools, more tasks pop up, like following up and sending in transcripts and portfolios and such. And applying for scholarships. Fffffffff.

This is all made worse by the fact that I can tell that within the next day I'm going to develop a snotty, sore-throaty cold. Just, aaagh. I was already sick just a month ago. I'm wondering if it's the same thing my friend got when she stayed the night in our dorm. She ended up having something akin to plague for a week.

I really need to write this paper, yo. And possibly blow my nose.

animations

Animations from art camp.

End of the year evaluation

In which I pause for a moment of reflection.

Ah.

I also touched photoshop for the first time since art camp. I had no tablet, so I didn't get very intricate. But who doesn't love naked women with snails slimin' up their backs?









All and all it's been a good year. This past spring and summer was probably the best I've lived through in a while, on a personal level. College is actually a pretty good time, despite my lack of updates on it. I have made a few very lovely friends. And I can safely say that I am righteously excited for the new year.

For a second, I thought I was sick of Dirty Projectors. I'm glad it was only a second though, because their music is really beautiful to me.

What is less beautiful is my Figure drawing final. I realized the folly of trying to skip lower level courses; foundation classes are always good. Taking a class because you think you will make good portfolio work doesn't work unless you actually can produce good work.

So, my final for figure? It's open ended as all get out; it needs to look like you spent thirty hours on it, and have "figurative elements." Easy? No. It's due in two Tuesdays. I went to an extra figure drawing session today. Had bought some nice Arches yesterday, and today it was all I could do to stop myself from crying because I felt like I was wasting it. It sucks not being able to draw well when you're an art major.

To make things worse I still don't know what to do for my project. I was gonna do gesture washes and then add line work, but only in one area. I... nothing worked today.

So I could scan some pictures... naaaah. I really just want to sleep.

But all is not sucky in the land of EMU. I found out yesterday that I got that $1500 scholarship I applied for a month ago. I thought I didn't get it because they never sent me an email update. It was for freshmen art majors, so... yay. Someone must think I don't suck.