I should...

...start listing the things that I enjoy when I feel down.

I just read an AOL health article about ways to stay chipper at work. While AOL probably isn't the most authoritative voice of health issues, the suggestions were nonetheless pretty solid. For instance, instead of holing yourself away from everyone during crunch time, it's better to be social, and to reaffirm friendships. I think this is true; a lot of the times I feel like poo if I haven't seen or spoken to any of my friends. Also... listing shit you're grateful for. We used to do this in third grade in our journals at the end of everyday. Hey, it might help. Also, breaking down tasks into sprints instead of marathons.

It's all pretty intuitive, but sometimes intuitive things need to be reiterated.
So, I need to figure out what to do with my self portrait assignment. It's due Thursday and a major component of the assignment is to really focus on creating skin. I've done a lot of self portraits, and I don't want to start repeating myself. I also wanna rework another self portrait. Hur.

PORTFOLIO DAY'S THIS WEEK, and I haven't that much to show for it. I wonder if I should just start applying to schools now. If I keep waiting for me to make new things, it might not happen. Maybe this portfolio day will catalyze another big creative splurge like the one last year did. Wouldn't that be something?

'K, time to make hot water and ramen. Delish.

Did you know that soda machines have CO2 tanks? So the drinks aren't precarbonated or anything. When that tank is busted, all that comes out of the machine is syrup.

I just finished a bio lab report which involved discussing the ability of plants to process carbon during photosynthesis. I have no intention of becoming a bio major, and the fact that the mid-term is this Monday strikes terror into the depths of my soul, but... occasional tidbits of information do become lodged into my brain, although they are rarely of help, say, during an exam. The whole CO2 thing was one such tidbit.

Also, I don't want to be a virgin past my twenties. However, given my batting record, that may very well happen.

Priorities:

Do figure drawing homework; that is find four unconventional ways of manipulating a paper surface.

Begin Bio Lab. 'Cause it'll take FO-EVA.

Finish "Love Medicine."

APPLYTOARTSCHOOLJESUSFUCKWHYHAVEN'TISTARTEDALREADY.

Research slack-lines, and figure out which one(s) I need to get.

Good shit... so I went to Snack and Study, which was pretty heavy on the snack and very light on the study. But fun nonetheless. I listened to the Slack-liners various harrowing tales of creeper encounters, and learned the 6 o'clock 12-o'clock method of telling direction. Well, I suppose I sort of already knew it, but I had never used it to help scope out a creeper.

Hold up, I gotta start some tea.

Also, ran my rave run today around the lake with mah running broski. It was overcast, but the lake was nothing less than spectacular. I also used this run to justify eating a burger and fries, as well as four donuts.

Called my dad, stepma and sister. They had me on speaker phone, so the exchange ended up being a ten minute confusion of my trying to understand what everyone was saying, and of me failing to do so.

My body's started to get used to this whole 'seven hours of sleep a night' thing. WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SLEEP SCHEDULES, HUH. THEY'RE ALL WHORES. While this is admittedly much better for my body, given my level of activity, it makes it difficult for me to justify pulling all-nighters.

Okay... priority number one: figure drawing. Then bio, then lit. LET'S DO THIS.

Huuurrrrrr I'm already getting tired. It is just eleven o'clock. My tea is still too hot to drink. Fuh.

LOOK AT ME FAIL XD

I fear I may be on my way to losing at college.

The day began innocuously enough: I woke up this to my roommate's Flight of the Conchords cd. It didn't quite inject me with the amount of get-up-and-go that I was expecting, but I managed to roll out of bed at 9:30-ish anyway. I then proceeded to drive to a nearby lake, where it was rumored that a kitten had been wandering around. I found no such kitten, but I did walk around in the mud for a bit.

When I returned to my dorm, instead of beginning my studies I broke open some David Sedaris and cranked up the NPR. My roommates and I bought food-like substances, I almost killed everyone on the way home. The usual. When we did make it back to the dorm we watched some cat show on Animal Planet and I proceeded to nap. My roommate entreated me to begin my homework, so I groggily made a cup of hot cocoa, foolishly believing that that would have fuck-all effect on my focus.

I have since spent the last two hours of my life reading up on "Cracked", while distinctly failing to achieve anything. I don't even have the focus to read through an entire(ly short) article, so what hope is there for my studies?

Basically, this is another annoyingly self-absorbed post about me failing at life. At some point the looming specter of the GPA should float along (it is the spectral time of year, after all) and sufficiently terrify me into doing my work.

I'm always amazed at my capacity to waste time.

ANother entry sans images

Frickin' A, yo.

So I climbed yesterday, and then I went climbing again today expecting not to be exhausted. That was some dream.

But it didn't matter, because today they had a SLACKLINE SET UP. I probably came. I couldn't concentrate on this route I was climbing, firstly because I was tired, but secondly because the line was RIGHT THERE, behind us. To my partner I was like, Bro, just climb this. I can't climb anything while there's a slackline here.

I really enjoy slacking, you see, and I hadn't gotten a chance to do it since last Sunday. I was already experiencing withdrawal symptoms (i.e walking by the usual spot, even though from far away I know that no one's there, thinking about how much I want to slack, looking at far too many slacking videos on youtube...). So, you could say that I was happy. Or you could say that I was pissing-my-pants-overjoyed. One of those would be correct.

There are so many things I need to do, but... all I ever wanted to do is slack.

BT-Dubs Gorillaz was awesome.

Da weekend...

...it was gewd. The weather in Kentucky was lovely, and my parents and I climbed us some rocks. I CLIMB WITH MY FAMILY. DEAL WITH IT.

In addition to the general top-roping that I normally do, I also led (lead? I forget verb conjugations) two routes; well, almost. The first one was a five star 5.8 (27 years of climbing) and the second I didn't realize until most of the way up that it was a 5.10 C... at which point I realized just how phobic of lead-climbing I am. I was just five feet away from the anchors when I was on an inclining slope, and literally just had to trust that my feet would stick to the wall without the use of hand holds... but instead I cried. Ma had to finish the route, and I did the last move on top rope. Upon climbing the route on top rope all I could think was "how the BALLS did I lead this."

It's stupid, because I love heights, roller coasters, slides, and the like, but I can't seem to reconcile my fear of falling on lead.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT: the hardest route I ever led out doors was a nine. Like, four years ago. SO WHATEVER. This was quite the accomplishment for me. I just need to practice falling and it'll all be good.

We finished the trip by stopping at Miguel's Pizza, where I fondled a 7-week old puppy and slacked on the slackline.

But now I must study math. I'll have scans posted from the sketch book challenge momentarily.

I FRICKIN' LOVE MATT AND KIM. They inspired me to create the phrase "Sonic courage" (as opposed to liquid courage).

Anyway, today, today was good. I got up, dashed off to figure drawing, drew this model whom I find COMPLETELY GORGEOUS. I love her poses.

Then I went to bio lab. I was exhausted, having not slept the night before. (On a side note, I cannot multitask- I'm listening to "Yeah yeah yeah" by Jack Conte, and it is making it difficult to type.)So I was struggling to keep my head off of the desk for much of the hour. BUT I GOT TO HOLD A MADAGASCAR HISSING COCKROACH AND BUBBLES THE BEARDED DRAGON. AUGH (that's my approximation of the "I came" noise). Then I went slacking for like an hour and it was SO gorgeous outside. I was walking with my friends after lab let out to grab food, and since I was wearing my glasses I could yet make out a thin yellow line across the lake and I was like, "Guaiz, the slack line is up. I must part," and they were like "NO GET BAGELS WITH US" and I was like "But it's been a week since I last slacked. WHAT IF IT'S A MIRAGE AND IT DISAPPEARS AFTER WE EAT" and they were like "Dude."

I assented and got food with them, but I went over to the trees and it wasn't a dream, and there was much slacking. I even saw Scott, whom I haven't seen in a month, so that was nice. Trying to master the sit down start and other foreign stand up moves. Also saw Ian from the gym. ARG I hope no one uses this blog to track people down. Sheee-it.

THEN I CLIMBED AND I WASN'T A THIRD WHEEL AND I ACTUALLY CLIMBED TOP ROPE. Fuck yeah. Fuck. Yeah. I'm still weak, but maybe slightly less so. Also might have a reliable climbing partner and reason to go multiple times a week.

AND AFTER I THRASHED MYSELF I WASN'T CONTENT TO JUST EAT AND SLEEP, so I tried to learn the Thriller dance with a bunch of people from the dorm. I showed up and people were like "Oh, you're Adele? You draw?" and one dude was like "YOUR COAT IS AWESOME" and another chick was like "Did you cut yourself rock climbing?" and I'm like HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT ME. Then I learned that it was open door night.

Good times, yo. Good, times.

I've even started on the thirty day sketchbook challenge! Will scan when ready.

30 Days

After I finish this marvelous lab report... it's going down. With love.

I have two hours until my native american lit work is due. I could be working on that, or at least go outside and see if the slackline was set up. Instead I'm listening to When I Decide by My Terrible Friend http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0m4QE-KvuNU&feature=channel

I love Nataly Dawn, and now I think I love Lauren O'Connell as well.

Anyway, I'm busy doing that, as well as musing on my hopes to go and kick animation's ass one day... with love.

Fuck sleep.

I have a nine thirty figure drawing class tomorrow and I am hell bent on showing up entirely un-rested (and likely un-shoed, as well).

Also, here is another doodle that was borne from hearing a certain Avett Brothers song one too many times and having entirely too few hours of sleep:



While I'm not sleeping, I'd like all two of the people who follow this blog to direct their attention to this review of The Social Network:
http://www.pajiba.com/film_reviews/the-social-network-review-im-aaron-sorkin-bitch-.php

Several people have commented angrily on the generalizations thrust upon so called Gen Y, hinting that we're just a bunch of self indulgent narcissists. I don't want people to judge things without acquainting themselves with the context, but this remark was particularly salient: "Gen Y has never been about putting something good out into the world; it’s been about putting themselves out into the world." This isn't necessarily the author's opinion, but mainly a comment on the film's message The review wasn't an indictment against Gen Y . It was a favorable review about an apparently half-decent and culturally pertinent movie. And any movie pertinent to the internet age is inevitably going to have to deal with negotiating the stereotype of the current generation.

But, for my part... I feel like I sort of typify one of these narcissists. I have blog for chrissakes. I draw a few too many self portraits (I remember my dad commenting disdainfully on Durer, saying, "He would want to draw something beautiful and inevitably turn to himself for subject matter." Not verbatim). Much of my writing and drawing are visual representations of conversations with myself.

On the topic of narcissism, though... I wouldn't say I'm in love with myself. Am I interested in myself? Very much so, not only from a self preservation stand point, but also because I thoroughly amuse myself with my foibles and downfalls. I think I have too much self loathing (whether it's true or superficial I'm unsure) to say that I have excessive self love.

I forget which character said this, but s/he suggested that if you weren't interested by yourself then you were boring, and s/he never wanted to be that person.

I dunno. What concerns me more is what a pelvis looks like from a 3/4 angle. Apparently, it's a big concern for animation students.

I HOPE TO JOIN YOUR RANKS SOMEDAY, ANIMATION STUDENTS.

God, I really do need to sleep.

This needs to stop.

There are too many gosh-darned Reeces (reeses?) in this dorm. Or rather, there is reasonable amount, but I am simply eating too many of them.

On a more somber note, my roommate's grandmother died. Given the enormity of the situation I was still (and still am, a bit) overcome by my petty feelings of uncertainty on how best to 'be there.' After holing myself in my room for too long I finally went out and gave her a hug. It's not about me, or my uncertainty. It's helping a friend who's going through a rough time.

On less serious notes (look at me switch topics!) I'm re-reading the Cheese Monkeys. Again. As if I didn't already have enough distractions from studying and socializing. The first time I attempted to read it was in middle school. As the main character is a freshman in college, what better time is there for me to read it? It'll be the college equivalent of having read "Sleeping Freshman Never Lie" in the summer before freshman year. It's all the more fitting because he's majoring in art at a state university; while I don't intend to do that forever, for now we're in the same boat, so what better time to get reacquainted with each other?

I haven't quite met my Hilmillsy Dodd yet, though. Not entirely certain that I ever will.

My roommate told me she didn't think our other roommates could relate, to which I thought, really?

I need to follow more people here, so that I get more updates. That, or I log on too gosh darned often.

HERE'S ANOTHER DOODLE!!!



Fuckin' narcissist.

This weekend marks the first time I actually spent a substantial part of the weekend on campus. I ate dinner at a friend's house, walked around barefoot, ran in the rain, and spent way too much time listening to the radio. I tried to watch a foreign film, but not only was it dubbed, it also had mismatching subtitles. I got angry and stormed out... which was not so much a storm so much as I creeped out timidly not wanting to look like I had no taste. Also, Firefox doesn't seem to think that the verb form of creep has a past tense. WELL, YOU ALSO DON'T THINK THAT THYLAKOID IS A WORD, SO THAT SHOWS WHAT YOU KNOW.

Also went out for sushi with Life Partner for her birthday. Was reminded that sesame seaweed salad is AWESOME. Was also reminded of earlier days of our friendship, which was a little less than awesome. But a good time, nonetheless.

Once again, I'm glad nobody follows this. I am obnoxious XD I also should sleep if my intention is to wake up early to do math homework.

For the sake of sanity, never, ever buy a flexi-sketch book. The cover WILL fall off, and you WILL want to rip out the left kidney of the person standing nearest to you. It was a gift, and I do appreciate it, but.

I attempted to take web cam photos of my sketch book. The strain of trying to hold this floppy thing (sketchbook, not my penis) still, position it correctly and manage not to take shitty pictures was too much to bear. I will try it once more, though, as I am a glut for this sort of pain.

It is 24 hour comic day. FUUUCCCKKK guess who isn't gonna do it.



There is an image. The fluorescent lighting of the dorm probably isn't doing great things for it, but it's the first thing I've uploaded since camp. What I would do to return there...

There are some artist types around here, I'm sure. Must find them.

So I went to a wedding rehearsal dinner with my friend. The event itself wasn't hugely memorable for me, but the things we said were pure gold, like talking about our respective clitorises and non existent penises within church walls.

In the bathroom stalls of this restaurant, my friend was noting that people who didn't know us would think we were lesbian lovers, to which I responded:

"...What if we just exchanged significant looks, and started having rough sex on the bathroom floor ."

My friend didn't stop laughing about my choice of the word 'significant' for several minutes. It was a beautiful moment in our friendship.

I am straight, even if I'm not very good at it.

A note to everyone: learn how to type when everyone else is learning how to type. Frickin' A.