Fuck sleep.

I have a nine thirty figure drawing class tomorrow and I am hell bent on showing up entirely un-rested (and likely un-shoed, as well).

Also, here is another doodle that was borne from hearing a certain Avett Brothers song one too many times and having entirely too few hours of sleep:



While I'm not sleeping, I'd like all two of the people who follow this blog to direct their attention to this review of The Social Network:
http://www.pajiba.com/film_reviews/the-social-network-review-im-aaron-sorkin-bitch-.php

Several people have commented angrily on the generalizations thrust upon so called Gen Y, hinting that we're just a bunch of self indulgent narcissists. I don't want people to judge things without acquainting themselves with the context, but this remark was particularly salient: "Gen Y has never been about putting something good out into the world; it’s been about putting themselves out into the world." This isn't necessarily the author's opinion, but mainly a comment on the film's message The review wasn't an indictment against Gen Y . It was a favorable review about an apparently half-decent and culturally pertinent movie. And any movie pertinent to the internet age is inevitably going to have to deal with negotiating the stereotype of the current generation.

But, for my part... I feel like I sort of typify one of these narcissists. I have blog for chrissakes. I draw a few too many self portraits (I remember my dad commenting disdainfully on Durer, saying, "He would want to draw something beautiful and inevitably turn to himself for subject matter." Not verbatim). Much of my writing and drawing are visual representations of conversations with myself.

On the topic of narcissism, though... I wouldn't say I'm in love with myself. Am I interested in myself? Very much so, not only from a self preservation stand point, but also because I thoroughly amuse myself with my foibles and downfalls. I think I have too much self loathing (whether it's true or superficial I'm unsure) to say that I have excessive self love.

I forget which character said this, but s/he suggested that if you weren't interested by yourself then you were boring, and s/he never wanted to be that person.

I dunno. What concerns me more is what a pelvis looks like from a 3/4 angle. Apparently, it's a big concern for animation students.

I HOPE TO JOIN YOUR RANKS SOMEDAY, ANIMATION STUDENTS.

God, I really do need to sleep.

This needs to stop.

There are too many gosh-darned Reeces (reeses?) in this dorm. Or rather, there is reasonable amount, but I am simply eating too many of them.

On a more somber note, my roommate's grandmother died. Given the enormity of the situation I was still (and still am, a bit) overcome by my petty feelings of uncertainty on how best to 'be there.' After holing myself in my room for too long I finally went out and gave her a hug. It's not about me, or my uncertainty. It's helping a friend who's going through a rough time.

On less serious notes (look at me switch topics!) I'm re-reading the Cheese Monkeys. Again. As if I didn't already have enough distractions from studying and socializing. The first time I attempted to read it was in middle school. As the main character is a freshman in college, what better time is there for me to read it? It'll be the college equivalent of having read "Sleeping Freshman Never Lie" in the summer before freshman year. It's all the more fitting because he's majoring in art at a state university; while I don't intend to do that forever, for now we're in the same boat, so what better time to get reacquainted with each other?

I haven't quite met my Hilmillsy Dodd yet, though. Not entirely certain that I ever will.

My roommate told me she didn't think our other roommates could relate, to which I thought, really?

I need to follow more people here, so that I get more updates. That, or I log on too gosh darned often.

HERE'S ANOTHER DOODLE!!!



Fuckin' narcissist.

This weekend marks the first time I actually spent a substantial part of the weekend on campus. I ate dinner at a friend's house, walked around barefoot, ran in the rain, and spent way too much time listening to the radio. I tried to watch a foreign film, but not only was it dubbed, it also had mismatching subtitles. I got angry and stormed out... which was not so much a storm so much as I creeped out timidly not wanting to look like I had no taste. Also, Firefox doesn't seem to think that the verb form of creep has a past tense. WELL, YOU ALSO DON'T THINK THAT THYLAKOID IS A WORD, SO THAT SHOWS WHAT YOU KNOW.

Also went out for sushi with Life Partner for her birthday. Was reminded that sesame seaweed salad is AWESOME. Was also reminded of earlier days of our friendship, which was a little less than awesome. But a good time, nonetheless.

Once again, I'm glad nobody follows this. I am obnoxious XD I also should sleep if my intention is to wake up early to do math homework.

For the sake of sanity, never, ever buy a flexi-sketch book. The cover WILL fall off, and you WILL want to rip out the left kidney of the person standing nearest to you. It was a gift, and I do appreciate it, but.

I attempted to take web cam photos of my sketch book. The strain of trying to hold this floppy thing (sketchbook, not my penis) still, position it correctly and manage not to take shitty pictures was too much to bear. I will try it once more, though, as I am a glut for this sort of pain.

It is 24 hour comic day. FUUUCCCKKK guess who isn't gonna do it.



There is an image. The fluorescent lighting of the dorm probably isn't doing great things for it, but it's the first thing I've uploaded since camp. What I would do to return there...

There are some artist types around here, I'm sure. Must find them.

So I went to a wedding rehearsal dinner with my friend. The event itself wasn't hugely memorable for me, but the things we said were pure gold, like talking about our respective clitorises and non existent penises within church walls.

In the bathroom stalls of this restaurant, my friend was noting that people who didn't know us would think we were lesbian lovers, to which I responded:

"...What if we just exchanged significant looks, and started having rough sex on the bathroom floor ."

My friend didn't stop laughing about my choice of the word 'significant' for several minutes. It was a beautiful moment in our friendship.

I am straight, even if I'm not very good at it.

A note to everyone: learn how to type when everyone else is learning how to type. Frickin' A.

uncreative title!!!

Yes. So. This touch typing thing's a bitch. Not as much of a bitch as not knowing at all... it's a process, like life, or the Krebs Cycle.

I had more emo things to say, but it's more like I just need to keep adjusting.

I went climbing again, but I was third wheel with climbers who were lead climbing, so I ended up bouldering most of the night. Not a bad thing, really, since I'm weak as all get out these days. I think I was mainly lamenting the fact that I had been certified for a brief period of time but due to my never getting my leading card and subsequently never practicing, I failed the test when I took it at another gym. I think my mom was unfair then, because she expected me to act like I knew what I was doing when I effectively had no idea what I was doing. Sorry I'm transparent. Gosh.

Anyway. So now I want to get certified again, however, I'm wondering if making that a top priority would be a mistake. Among other things I need to fuckin' make some art, animations, look at art schools, apply to art schools, and pass the classes I'm taking at this school (and getting tutoring in bio, let's not forget. I did manage to squeak a B on the exam, though...) Anyway, is the reason I want to lead climb based on an actual desire to lead climbs, which I am deathly afraid of, or is it solely because I want to feel more like I belong?

Life really isn't that bad. I don't know if I'll be sore like I was last week. I did do more bouldering today. It must've been sad to watch me; I was climbing easy rated climbs, falling off, only to proceed to get back on and further punish myself for not being able to lead. I hope the routes weren't so easy that I didn't get a work out; I definitely sweated, albeit not as much as last week. On a less horrible note, the two climbs I did do were tens, one that I failed on last week, and I made it up both of them without cheating! I can't say I red pointed them, since I think I fell during both of them, but they were more successful than last week's attempts. Near the end I could tell my partner was getting impatient- I'm pretty sure I got pulled up the wall a bit.

My mom's actually taking me climbing on saturday, which'll be nice on a few counts: first, I won't have to negotiate thursday evening crowds, which are brutal because of cheaper admission fees. Second, I won't be third wheeling it, and third, I won't have to worry about being abandoned... I hope XD Maybe I'll get her to show me how to lead... again. I'll be like, BELONGING TO A NEBULOUS GROUP OF PEOPLE IS WAY MORE IMPORTANT THAN... THE FUTURE. She'll probably talk to me about the future, too, and I'll just awkwardly nod my head and mumble yes. As usual.

I just hit ctrl D. My blog menu's in french, and the command was 'brouillon', whatever that means. Gotta check this on larousse... apparently 'brouillon' stands for rough draft.

Mehhh... I need to know more climbers. Actually, I really need to prioritize, because there are so many things. So. Many. Things.

I was gonna say at least I don't have to be certified to go to running club tomorrow except WAIT I CAN'T I HAVE TO GO TO A WEDDING REHEARSAL WITH MY FRIEND. Fuck dangit, commitments. I HATE MAKING PLANS MONTHS IN ADVANCE. WHO THE CRAP DOES THAT.

MY LIFE ISN'T BAD. WHY DO I COMPLAIN ABOUT EVERYTHING LIKE IT IS.

I need to sleep. Bio's difficult enough when I'm fully awake. This is what college does to me. I stay up 'til one helping decorate a lounge, and now look at me. The guy who suckered me into it has a crush on one of my climbing friends, and this I confirmed when upon returning to my dorm he asked me about her. Poor girl. I WISH SOMEONE ASKED MY FRIENDS ABOUT ME, except maybe that would be creepy. Or maybe it would be normal. Fuck if I know. I wish that someone WANTED to ask my friends about me.

Engh... fuck that shit. Needs moar hyperbole and a half.

I NEEDS DIRECTION

Dreams have a funny way of being completely irrelevant for a majority of the time, and then, once in a great while, perfectly reflecting your state of mind in a totally recognizable way.

For instance. I had a dream in which I was trapped in a parallel universe (because that's the only kind of universe there is these days). This universe greatly resembled EMU, but there was a way to escape: all I had to do was solve a four variable equation. One of the variables involved calculating the top running speed of a particularly fat cat. I remember walking up a hill and thinking, if only I had a year to sleep and figure this out. I seemed to know that I was in a dream, because I didn't want to wake up and waste an opportunity to be proactive in my dream life... for once.

Basically, this is how I feel in waking life: I'm trapped, and while I am enjoying myself, I'm terrified of perpetually spinning wheels and not getting to where I need to be. So good for you, subconscious, for creating something relevant and timely.

ehhh

In college now. It's actually pretty swell, considering it's not art school. I'm like, meeting people! Like fellow rock climbers and slack liners.

Also, lack of scanner equals not very many doodles posted. Sad. BUT AT LEAST I'M LEARNING HOW TO TOUCH TYPE. I have bio to thank for that.

Peace y'all. All three of you.